An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.
Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much. Then again, don’t drink too little.
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.
If you must drink and drive, drink Pepsi.
Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend !!!!
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me.
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.