Step 1 – Find The Cause of The Problem
For every battered relationship, there is something that’s been going wrong for quite a while. If you can find that one thing, you’ll know your enemy. It could be that one or both of you have quit trying. Relationships take continuous effort and work to keep them good.
Perhaps some kind of life changes are getting in the way. Maybe one of you has moved ahead in their lives and the other hasn’t. One of you gets way too busy with their new work circumstance or routines, and they forget to pay attention to their lover. And I will tell you right now, it could be the guy who is not getting the attention. It isn’t always the woman.
Probably you have become judgmental with one another over time. When we first meet, we normally think wonderful things about one another. But over time, as you grow closer, it gets easier to start judging each other. Those things you found cool in the beginning might start to look ridiculous.
It could be cheating, but cheating is always a symptom, not a root cause. Try to find the real reason for the cheating. Maybe it’s lost its spark or it’s become boring. The true reason for the problem might be one of many things.
Step 2 – Deal With It Head-On
Now that you’ve discovered your motives, you’ve got to deal with them head-on. Encounter them with honesty. This could reveal a number of awful feelings or several nasty things from the past. If that’s the case, so be it. If you are committed to making this work, you’ve got to lay it all out on the table.
Nobody said it was effortless. This part of the process could be tough, because we’re all accustomed to bottling things up and keeping things inside. It may be tough to deal with things from the past. But once you’ve gotten the reasons out in the open, now you’re on your way to fixing them.
Step 3 – Work Them Out With Your Partner
Here, the “with your partner” is the most important part. A relationship is a bond among two people, and each people must be happy for it to work. The “with” entails that you’re responsible for it. It’s both of yours. Take this into account when you’re working it out.
What you need here is total communication. Once you’ve gotten to this step, you’ve gone through the worst of it. If you have difficulty communicating, this can be fixed easily. Most of us aren’t great communicators, but if you’ve got the reason identified and the resolve for dealing with it, communication skills can be learned.
During the entire process, stay away from blaming your partner. Probably they’ve done something terrible in the past, that’s fine. Instead of accumulating anger and resentment towards them, try forgiving them. The power of forgiveness is pretty awesome, and it works wonders when you’re attempting to fix a relationship.
If it grows into an argument, that’s fine. You have to work it all out and not hold anything back. However, never leave off with an angry note. Never go to sleep angry. When it’s time to stop, call a “truce” or do whatever you need to do so that you won’t be seething about it.
Keep in mind that any problem that doesn’t end the relationship will only make it stronger. After you went through all the process in repairing the broken relationship, it will be a lot stronger than before and you’ll understand each other a little better.