I don’t know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn’t have given you worse advice…
Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?
Your village just called. They’re missing an idiot.
The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.
May your ears turn into arseholes and shit on your shoulders.
I am a poor man, but I would gladly give ten shillings to find out who sent me the insulting Christmas card I received this morning.
Never insult anyone by accident.