It’s rare when Canada actually comes up with something more disgusting than most Americans could imagine — so we must celebrate those lonely moments when they come.
Tim Horton’s, the beloved Canadian donut chain, recently announced that they would be selling poutine donuts in honor of Canada Day, Canada’s Fourth of July, on July 1st. Even though poutine is a Canadian delicacy, the chain decided they would sell the product only at five United States locations.
America, now is not the time for partisan politics. We must band together and #resist.
To be fair, poutine is a delightful invention — a beautiful fat blob of fries, cheese curds, and gravy. And so, too, are donuts — particularly the honey-dipped Tim Horton donuts these will be served with. Potato wedges will be used in lieu of fries.
The chain will also sell a Maple Bacon Iced Capp and Maple Timbits, to wash it all down with.
We appreciate Canada’s generosity, their donut chains, and the incredible #viral Twitter moments their prime minister’s socks give us every day.
But poutine donuts may have gone too far. Let your small intestine be the judge.